Family: all over the world the institutions and politicians wash their mouth with this world, as if they have to demonstrate to be good just because they believe in the oldest and most religious nucleus of life itself. Why do we crave a family, and what is its definition? Family is paramount, and we must be looking forward to it just because, it always existed. But is this a reason to expect a family to be formed by a man and a woman under a certain contract or having united so constructively and passional to have brought someone else to this world? What is a family?
Honestly, I am no more certain on the answer myself, a very feminine young woman who has been believing in the Prince Charming since the most tender age: a prince like the one you find in fairy tales, someone who could take me away from the sufferance and bad world news to show me a kingdom where love and harmony reign supreme. Someone I would make proud by being loving and classy, admired by the people as a big-hearted example of wife and mother. Someone to who I would make plenty of beautiful, perfect children.
Hence sadly, this is no more a dream a young girl can aspire to. A wedding is no more the goal ending to a happily ever after marriage, wedding ended up being just a step filled with the relativism that it might end since when pre nuptials contracts entered the scene in non religious marriages; only in the Jewish religion es expected from at least 2500 years ago a kind of prenup, the ketubah, a document written by a rabbi that states the meaning of a marriage and expresses the possibilities of it coming to an end, in which case the man is required to provide for his ex wife for a time maintaining her and the children’s standards of living. (If we think that in Christianity the wife could simply be thrown out of the house, the understand that the ketubah has ever since been a sign of respect.) Sadly, prenups in Western societies are not such, stating as they do every penny and mitigating circumstances that are only meant to damage the woman since the standard of living is not taken into account and she gets to accept a sum that could be inferior to her by now wasted potential.
Years ago a smart woman could just skip the prenup stating its absurdity in front of love; now she must BEG for a prenup ad the States tende to force a woman to work if she has the capabilities and renounce to the standard of living clause. Moreover, she will have got married sumptuously to be a princess that one day and lost the possibilities of buying herself a forever lasting diamond as engagement to herself. Sumptuous weddings have became just another party and probably the one in which the bride will be the most hysterical in its organisation and annoyed in receiving the guests. Wouldn’t it be more worth to marry in secrecy and then throw a party in which a video of a proper promos of undying love is shown, set on a desert island–or Las Vegas? Getting married should be FUN and unforgettable. (Even if in Las Vegas, the couple will have a video record of their wedding held by Elvis Presley.)
A wedding is between two people and if it might be a contract like others, stating some rights and obligations between two parties, it also is different from anyone else since it should be involving love.
Instead love and dreams became just a business to show prestige and wealth for one day and then fall into a routine that if not sustained will crash into a painful divorce. It all comes from the ambition of a woman being that princess they dreamt in her childhood and get the attention of all for that one day. Paraphrasing Oscar Wilde: “men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both end up disappointed and from the illusion of joy over their ambitions they get each other fooled.” Now we all get fooled in many more different ways since getting married and divorcing has never been so easy. So if the vanity could be justified, today it is no more. We are Queens to a King, the kingdom does not matter anymore, the law doesn’t support our dreams nor nature.
Most sadly than that, the price for the parents’ stupidity is paid by their offspring, and if divorces are so common it will be paid by the future generations who might end up not knowing what the concept of family that persisted in most cultures for over 2000 years ever was. It will all be relative, genders will be blurred because anyone will be able to raise a baby, and father will be potentially everywhere since assisted fertilisation doesn’t require a father.
Men are just an instrument. That’s what feminists want, and sometimes their body is not even necessary: they can get the same pleasure from a dildo–faster and tireless as long as the batteries go and then they can be changed–and a baby from a test tube.
Wouldn’t be it all more beautiful, simple and romantic to escape and plan on the impulse of proper tender love, caring for the other’s fear and then face up to the rest of the world? … and wouldn’t it make more sense to cancel the divorce and allow silently your half of loving you and do what he/she wants? In a word, tacit polygamy and upmost respect while raising kids who will have both their parents on their sides. Abroad, and in England especially, they have opinions about the Italians’ attitude to put family first and turn a blind eye on the spouse’s infidelity… Well if by a biological call a family can be destroyed, I support my country’s attitude 100%. I wouldn’t support it if the spouse is disrespectful, lets me discover his lover and stops bringing me on the palm of his hands while providing for me and my offspring.
We can’t write a contact over the future heritage, we can’t allow it to be grim and we must still hope that little girls will aspire to be queens of their ideal kings one day.
Moreover, we can’t allow to delete the difference of gender’s role in this hard task, an embryo still needs an egg and a spermatozoon and it is a shared reality for all the different animals of the world. (With no disrespect to animals.)